It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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