Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
did i walk over a car last night?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
