So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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