return my video game
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
