just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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