Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
