What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
