these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize