She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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