I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize