is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
