i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
