I swear she didn't look like that last week.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
