We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have already put on my inside pants.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
