this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
