Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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