had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
