two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
