i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
