Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
