He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
