first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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