sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize