Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
