piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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