WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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