he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
