Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
