Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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