It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
