It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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