Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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