"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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