Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
