That's intense
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
