Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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