There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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