At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
