So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
