Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
