I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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