it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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