Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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