i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
vagina is talking i cant
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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