Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
