Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
