the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
