did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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