we made out on top of his cat.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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