What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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