the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
