my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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