I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
