Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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