I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
