Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
