I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
