my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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