The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
