we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
