OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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