i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
