i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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