i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
